2008 Kelly Gang Shootout Program

The Golf

The Format: Teams of four playing two-ball ambrose best-ball on Saturday and four-ball ambrose best-ball on Sunday.

The Rules: Since slow play is a potential problem for our gangs, these rules are designed to encourage play in the right spirit and at the right pace. Teams play their chosen best ball on each shot and may place their ball half a club length (about 50cms) from where the chosen ball lies, no nearer the hole. Balls must be placed in the same cut as the chosen ball. In the interests of fast play from tee to green, teams are NOT required to mark with a tee and precisely measure from the chosen ball as they play each shot. Team members can play in any order on a shot. Putting: Once on the green, Bushrangers should mark near the chosen best ball so each team member plays from near enough to the exact same position.

Handicapping: Each person will be assigned a handicap by the handicapper based on official handicaps and information supplied by the Bushrangers. The handicapper will be governed by a commitment to rewarding good play according to a player’s ability. Team handicaps for the ambrose groupings are calculated from the individual marks.

Playoffs: In the event of a tie, a sudden-death playoff will be conducted. Teams play together as a foursome (taking alternate strokes playing one ball). The order is continuous and carries over from one hole to the next until the playoff is decided.

Nearest-the-Pin & Longest Drive: Will be contested on both days and, in the interests of team gloating and solidarity, any player who wins a LD or NTP wins prizes and glory for his entire team.

The Rodeo Rule: This is minimum drives for each team member and will be enforced. Each team’s individual rodeo requirements will appear on their scorecard.
Additional Info

Rounds One & Two: 2-ball ambrose starting at 12:30pm on Saturday. Competitors need to be at the course at least half an hour before hit off. All competitors have golf carts on both days.

Round Three: 4-ball ambrose from 9:15am on Sunday. Competitors need to be at the course by 8:45am.

The Presentation: After golf on Sunday, we will collate the scores and have the presentation as quickly as possible. The venue for the presentation will be announced before golf.

The History of The Kelly Gang Shootout at Glenrowan

The Kelly Gang arrived in Glenrowan on 27 June 1880 and took about 70 hostages at the Glenrowan Inn. They planned to derail a train of police coming for them and while they waited for the train, they kept the hostages entertained by breaking out the turps and firing up a party that was a rollicking good time. The party lasted for two days, the police avoided the derailment and laid siege to the pub.

The gang members, Ned Kelly, Dan Kelly, Steve Hart and Joe Byrne, donned their now-famous helmets and armour (weighing about 44 kg), and fought a gun battle with the police. Before dawn on Monday June 28, Ned Kelly left the rear of the inn in his armour and circled behind the police. As the dawn broke, Ned cast an eerie figure marching out of the morning fog in his armour and overcoat, firing his revolvers. Police bullets bounced off his armour and it was not until the police shot at his legs that he slowed. He eventually collapsed and was captured behind a large fallen gum tree.

The rest of the gang died in the pub, probably from gun shot wounds, although the police bravely made sure by torching the building and burning Anne Jones’ pub to the ground. The police suffered only one minor injury: the senior officer, Superintendent Francis Hare, copped a scratch to his wrist, then fled the battle and was later suspended for his cowardice. Police shot several of the hostages, at least two fatally.

The Form Guide

The Glenrowan Hacks – Steve Hart, Joe Byrne and Dan Kelly all lost their lives at the siege in Glenrowan (June 26–28, 1880) that Ned had hoped would be the catalyst for a new republic. The myth of Ned grew as he somehow survived the ordeal having sustained enough gunshot wounds to bring down a horse. It was the first and last time they wore their iconic armour. In honour of this, the defending champions will play the KGS every year as The Glenrowan Hacks.

Roger Brown (Arbeige) – Coming in as the defending champion, he has been on an roll of late and is the current holder of the Arbeige Slam, being the reigning champ of all the Bushranger Golf Majors – The Bushranger Cup, The KGS and the William Buckley Classic. Alas, he has trouble holding a winning team together as his partner in crime, Mikey Dee, co-champ at the KGS and WBC, could not obtain a leave pass for this event. Will be very keen to continue his winning form but without his better half to prop him up, will probably fold like a deck of cards when the pace comes on.

Wade Jones (Mr Odds & Ends) – Is rumoured to be very handy around the course and around the house, and did very well in his first-up start in the city when he jagged the bikkies and left the field in his wake winning the 3rd BRG Handicap Day in May. Has parlayed that win into a start here. Could perform if he settles early but may well be overwhelmed by this step up in class.

Geoff Cutting (The Muppet) – This Picasso of the fairways picked up his moniker for his unfailingly cheery disposition. Like many of the Muppets, he is in high spirits most of the time, usually right up until the moment he starts his downswing on his opening drive. His problem is that he golfs his ball about as well as Kermit rides a bike. Expect him to do his best work off the course.

Form: This band of oddball liquorice all-sorts has been thrown together but appears a rudderless ship with a motley crew of three rag-tag rebels without a cause. With no Mikey Dee to show them the way, they look like Dan, Steve & Joe with no Ned to lead them. In this field, they are like a three-legged donkey in a mob of stallions, and will probably be swamped from the moment they jump out of the gates and never recover. Making up the numbers here, and will be at very long odds to even get a place in this small field.
 

The Frosty Beveridges – Ned Kelly was born in Beveridge, at the foot of Fraser’s Hill, 40 kms north of Melbourne. It was his first home town and is well known for being at its best when the temperatures are a little on the chilly side.

Scott Wilson (Willo) – This rapacious man has turned over a new leaf recently and appears destined to finally fulfil his massive potential. Can monster the golf ball but has been unable to parlay his power into wins on the track. Has brought a new game plan to his course management in 2008 and is starting to turn things around. After just three starts on the BRG tour this year, this amiable competitor is poised just outside the top 10 and has shown some solid form coming in here. May finally be ready to shake his best player never to win a major tag… and then again, he may just play cards all night and stuff the golf.

Richard Fellner (Quigley) – Won the inaugural KGS in 2006 and is a co-founder of the event so knows as much about how to win this as any other player in the field. Also knows nearly as much as all the field put together on how not to lose it where others might lose it, how to best try not to let others win it, and how not to not let others try to not stop not letting him win. Which is really saying something because he doesn’t always know how not to stop not wanting to try and not lose when all he wants to do is win. Will do well if he can just keep his head and hit the ball in the right direction most of the time.

Mick Van Raay (Da King) – This big man brings a real sheen of class to this field.  Has the common touch and is a genuine man of the people but is not afraid to show his class and his regal comportment lights up golf courses everywhere he goes. Is a past winner of the Duzzo Invitational, the WBC and a BRG Handicap Day in March this year, so clearly knows his way to the finishing post. Looks a certainty.

Ian Crotty (Crottman) – Unceremoniously dumped this team of dear old mates in 2004 for a gang of winners and, with the benefit of hindsight, made a very good move, winning the 2005 Bushranger Cup at this venue. Has been drafted back into this team to try to help them over the line and will be quick to take the credit if they happen to salute.

Form: With a Long Thin Dick pulled out and a slightly chubbier one shoved in, this mob may be older, wiser and shabbier, but are they any less likely to self-destruct on the first shot of the first hole? With a brand new Dick (and new balls to go with it), this gang has all the hallmarks of a prawn and mayonnaise cocktail on a hot summer's day.
 

The Beechworth Boys – Ned was gaoled as a teenager for receiving a stolen horse. In January 1873, he was transferred from Pentridge to Beechworth Prison where he spent the next year of his youth learning from hardened criminals how he might become an upstanding member of the community.

David Regenspurger (Ham) – This fertile big hitter and very keen competitor is poised to make a splash in his first year on the Shabby Dot Com Tour. Is rivalling Arbeige as the King of the Leave Pass with an unblemished attendance record in BRG events this year that has rocketed him into the top three in the Player of the Year standings. Alas, he has failed to trouble the engraver so far, never finishing higher than third and on Sunday afternoon he may again find himself trying to muscle aside the other bridesmaids as the bouquet is hoisted high.

Matthew Thomas (Thommo) – This teenage prodigy had the golfing world at his feet and then chose to give it all away just as he was beginning to make a name for himself. After a 15-year layoff, he has returned to the game, but has the game returned to him? Having snubbed niblick’s and mashie’s for fishing poles, water-skis, snowboards, radical moves, big air and his fancy xtreme sports hip-lingo, this trash-talking dynamo is starting to look like a round peg in the square hole on the golf course.

Shane Morris (The Fridge) – A real pedigree choker, this unit can be counted on to lay down, rollover and submit to the field the minute the pace picks up on Sunday afternoon. A consistent non-performer at his home club, this renegade has blown pennant finals, Country Week events and last Sunday, he imploded in grand style at the opening VSGCC Qualifier to lead his team to a comfortable last place. When the heat comes on, The Fridge melts down.

Brian Davis (The Postman) – A compulsive punter, this charming gent from the homeland of the mighty Conchords cannot so much as glance at a horse without betting someone that it will or won’t do something or anything at all, and has even been known to back a sheep or two. Is a sure bet to come out with chips flailing at the gaming tables in between rounds. However, it is on the golf course that he has forged his reputation for delivering the goods. They don’t just call the postman because he is one.

Form: First start in a field of this class for all these stallions, so really an unknown quantity. Have shown glimpses so must be considered only a rough chance to show.
 

 The Stringybark Creek Freaks – The infamous shootout between police and the Kelly Gang at Stringybark Creek took place on October 26, 1878. The Gang surprised the police at their camp and the ensuing gun battle was the spark that ignited the Kelly outbreak.

John Lazzara (Funky J) – Brings a real touch of class and style to an otherwise shabbinatory field of drongos. Sashays his way around the compound like a man who knows it is time to do some hard-core relaxing, he is sure to get straight down to work as soon as he hits town. Tocumwal may never be the same. Won the first Bushranger Cup at nearby Cobram-Barooga, so knows his way to the post and must be considered a decent chance to saunter his way to the top of the podium on Sunday.

Andy MacFeate (Macca) – Surprised many with his spirited showing in his first-up start in big time golf at the 2007 William Buckley Classic where he and partner Funky J just got better as the weekend went on. They stormed home with the best round on Sunday and were the big swoopers by the time the back nine got under way. Alas, they left their run just a little late and finished a solitary shot behind the winners. With that sort of come-from-behind form under his belt, will certainly have the leaders here checking their mirrors and hanging on to their soap as the field makes the final turn for home.

Matthew Pitt (Pw Jones) – Has a habit of winning his own tournaments as he proved again this year with a thrilling one-shot victory in the Bushranger Cup. Makes up the rules as he goes along, invents the formats to suit himself, writes the player profiles to please his own wicked desires and unscrupulously handicaps the other teams out of contention. He has probably already had the perpetual trophy engraved and, as such, is a completely unbackable favourite with the bookies and as close to a certainty as is possible.

Rob Lugton (The Don) – His Bradmanesque average on the golf course is the source of his moniker. Came into this event under an injury cloud after some serious arm fatigue from raising the bat a consecutive BRG Handicap Days in 2008. A relative newcomer to the game, he is rumoured to have engaged a professional coach to help him lift his game. Has chosen his team well here and will be looking for a comfy armchair ride to the podium.

Form: A very serious contender, this unruly mob will have the highest collective handicaps here, not only because they are the worst golfers, but because the handicapper is known to be a villainous rogue.

The Jerilderie Gents – The Kelly Gang popped by Jerilderie in 1879, held up the local bank, jagged some pounds, penned a feisty letter and wandered over to the Telegraph Office to chop down a few poles.

Dave Warwick (Diesel) – One of the absolute guns of this field with possibly the sweetest swing on display this weekend. Had a dazzling junior career before falling foul of the demon drink. This charming gent has a textbook swing and a famous block of old-school persimmon wood on the end of his driving paddle. He eschews titanium and all the modern gizmos of the game and consoles himself with liquor on the course. He is a purveyor of fine beverages, ales, beers, pilsners, ciders, lagers, stouts and bitters. And did we mention he doesn’t mind a beer?

Dave Pollock (The Angry Ant) – This fine all-round sportsman is best known for getting a touch of the fever – the white-line fever!?! That’s right, this pocket dynamo seems mild-mannered enough as he goes about his weekly business building bridges, both metaphoric and literal, drinking beer and barracking for his beloved Navy Blues. But when he crosses the white line, the eyes roll back, the jaws start salivating, the knuckles go white and the blood turns black in his veins as he is overcome by the grip and thrill of competition. All we can say is, Mens sana in copore sano and bring it on, brother!!

Phil Peacock (Fabulous Phil) – Can go the distance as evidenced by his marathonning pedigree, but his chances are gravely overshadowed by the unfortunate news that this event is a golfing,  drinking, swearing, farting and gambling marathon of nonsense, celebrating four blokes hijacking a pub and running a two day party. It is not a remembrance, as gallant as it was, of Pheidippides running from Marathon to Athens to announce Greece’s victory over Persia, then dropping dead on arrival.

Mick Winterling (Mr. President) – This former used-car salesman is known as The Prez due to his uncanny resemblance to a former US head of state. This lover of beer and good times is rumoured to not be above parlaying his famous countenance into a little special treatment and has allegedly scored more than a few free lunches including a rather memorable afternoon tea at Buckingham Palace. Does not, however, share his look-alike’s reputation for a loose grip of accountancy on the golf course. Is not great on the links, but is as honest as the day is long.

Form: If this event was for a group of golfers off for a volleyball weekend, then this team would romp it in as they are united by their passion and skill with the wolleyball. Alas, it ain’t and they probably won’t, but their collective love of beer should ensure they have a great weekend and make many friends and admirers along the way.