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Welcome to the home of Jack The Hack
Jack the Hack is a social tournament with a long and illustrious history as one of the most exclusive dates on The Shabby Dot Com Tour. Many a good man has disgraced himself in search of an elusive invitation to what has been one of the ‘hot tickets’ in antipodean golf for more than a decade. The tournament format is singles stableford and a quick glance at the list of past champions reveals it only rewards bandits of the highest order. The event is usually held on a Saturday in October on one of the salubrious courses of the Mornington Peninsula south east of Melbourne.
The 2012 Jack The Hack
The 15th running of The Hack was on in August 2012. The details were:
When: Sunday August 12, 2012.
Where: Long Island Country Club.
Prizes: All the usual Hackers trophies and paraphernalia.
Entry: $80 per person. Carts an extra $20 pp.
Bookings: Through Diamond Jim Spencer.
Jack The Hack Champions
1997 – Richard Mitchell
1998 – A. Waldron
1999 – P. Scott
2000 – Rob Horrigan
2001 – Richard Mitchell
2002 – DominicWall
2003 – C. Barnard
2004 – C. Matthews
2005 – Matthew Pitt
2006 – Hacked off
2007 – Marty Koolstra
2008 – Richard Mitchell
2009 – Richard Mitchell
2010 – The Coach
2011 – Rob Horrigan
2012 – Rob Horrigan
To the right are our tournament hosts, Richard Mitchell and Jim Spencer, sharing a special moment with the Jack The Hack Perpetual Trophy at Eagle Ridge after the 2007 event.
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The event pays homage to the life and times of Jack "The Hack" Spencer, father of tournament co-founder Jim. Many years after Jack’s passing, a treasure was discovered. Jack was a member of Yarra Yarra GC for many years and in 1933 he won the club’s Quarterly Cup with a 99 off the beater (wielding an impressive handicap of 27 for a nett 72). This ‘Bradmanesque’ performance catapulted an erstwhile humble weekend scrapper to the lofty status of Prince among Hackers.
After the rediscovery of this lost treasure, Jim and accomplice Saddam regarded Jack’s effort such a remarkable application of the art of hacking, that it was worthy of celebrating with a tournament honouring Jack’s legacy to all very average golfers. And so Jack The Hack was born. The obvious choice for the trophy was the original Yarra Yarra Quarterly Cup, which is now the JTH Perpetual Trophy and engraved with the names of the winners. Although blissfully unaware in his own lifetime, Jack has proved to be an inspiration to mediocre players the world over from one generation to the next.
The first JTH was at Eagle Ridge in 1997 and is always played on the Mornington Peninsula, an area that Jack himself was very fond of. Every year some very big numbers posted and usually more than a few of the field to go one better than Jack Spencer himself by ‘doing a Bradman’ and posting a century. Since scoring a ton necessarily requires shots placed to every corner of the course, fans are urged to show their appreciation of the achievement with polite applause, to which the century maker will usually respond by raising a club in acknowledgement. He may also be seen to graciously accept the compliments of his appreciative and privileged playing partners for their generous acclaim after every shot.
2008 will be the 11th JTH and like every year, there will be a glimmer of anticipation when the first ball is struck. It is the hackers natural state to exist in a deluded universe of hope. For every hacker, when the first mighty drive is whaled off the tee to commence its awkward flight towards the green, if it has fluked a path down the middle of the fairway, the Hacker may dare to dream that his golfing day of glory has finally arrived. He will fantasise that on this one aberrant occasion, on every shot, on every hole, his game will be nothing less than sublime. And he will almost certainly be wrong. But the dream lives on.
In 2005, the ‘Hack’ was held at the mighty Moonah Links Open Course where the star-studded field posted some huge numbers. When the dust settled, Pw Jones had managed a measly 37 stableford points but was left with a one shot win. That’s Pw on the right, proudly displaying The Jack the Hack Perpetual Trophy and his stunning pair of Retro-Specs courtesy of tournament benefactor Jim Spencer.
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The 2012 Jack the Hack
Played on Sunday August 12 at Long Island Golf Club in good conditions. The results were:
1st – Rob Horrigan – 35 points playing off a 11 h/cap – back to back Hacks.
2nd – Don Jones – 33 points off a 27 h/cap (after a count back with JW).
3rd – John Williams – 33 points off a 26 h/cap.
NAGA – Diamond Jim Spencer – 16 points off a 30 h/cap.
The 2011 Jack the Hack
Played on Sunday October 9 at Gisborne GC in appalling conditions. It rained all day and the dreadful cold presented a genuine and unnecessary test for the Hackers. The results were:
1st – Rob Horrigan – 32 points playing off a 11 h/cap – the start of this champion’s back to back win’s.
2nd – John Williams – 32 points off a 30 h/cap (after a count back with RH).
3rd – Don Jones – 31 points off a 20 h/cap.
NAGA – Jesse Mathews – 16 points off a 32 h/cap.
The 2010 Jack the Hack
Played on Saturday 9/10/10 at Beacon Hills GC in superb conditions. The results were:
1st – The Coach – 33 points playing off a 32 handicap
2nd – Richard Mitchell – 32 points playing off a 9 handicap (the guy was at his peak)
3rd – Jim Spencer – 32 points playing off a 32 handicap (after a count back with RM)….the only time JS has come near the winner’s podium!
NAGA – Joel Mathews – 18 points playing off a 18 handicap
The 2009 Jack the Hack
What: The twelfth remarkable installment of the Hacking
Where: At 13th Beach Golf Links, Barwon Heads
When: Tee off from 11:30am on Saturday October 24
Who: The exclusive invitational field was 12 Hackers
The 12th running of The Hack had a slight twist to the left as it featured some special new elements including a privately catered dinner on Saturday after golf with live entertainment and on-course accommodation at the lush apartments at the Hawthorn Suites for the purpose of physical, emotional, psychological, philosophical, mental and spiritual recuperation après the rigours of the Hacking. It was a massive event with three complimentary events occurring simultaneously with our friends in the Montclaire Classic and the mighty William Buckley Classic also teeing it up over the weekend at the same venue. As such, there was a large posse of like-minded scoundrels and rogues who stayed on Saturday night after sharing the dinner in a private function room at the 13th Beach clubhouse where the participants from the three events to all get together for some revelry and mutual appreciation. To help grease the wheels of enjoyment, local acoustic guitar hero Josh Dance played a few tunes.
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The Hackers had a super day on The Creek Course at 13th Beach in great conditions for golf. The course was in splendid condition and provided a great test of skill and temperament which most of the Hackers seemed to fail with flying colours. When the dust had settled, only one Hacker had tamed the monster by unfurling an enormous score of 38 points - a lazy 9 points clear of 2nd place! He could have skipped the first four holes and still won the title.
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In what was initially regarded as a profoundly unpopular result, the culprit of this outrageous performance was none other than the defending champion and tournament co-founder Richard Mitchell (aka Saddam). To say his win received a lukewarm reception would be understating the case having now won the JTH four times and achieving the first ever Back-to-Back Hack! When he arose at the presentation to accept his prizes (again) there was an audible groan in the room. And then something remarkable happened. It was Saddam (not Richard) that came dancing through the crowd (pictured left) and up to the podium to accept the prizes and he then regaled the room with one of the finest and most entertaining acceptance speeches in the history of sport.
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With gems such as, "I look forward to coming back and beating you all again next year!", Saddam had the audience in the palm of his hand and as he departed he started a chant of "Saddam, Saddam, Saddam!" that is still echoing in the halls of the 13th Beach clubhouse. It was a great night and we all look forward immensely to his next victory. The final results for Hack # 12 were:
Place
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Player
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Score
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H/cap
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1st
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Richard Mitchell
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38 points
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18
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2nd
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Rob Horrigan
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29 points
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20
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3rd
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Joel Mathews
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27 points
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23
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NAGA
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Steve Duffy
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16 points
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Unknown
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The 2008 Jack the Hack
What: The eleventh outrageous installment of the Hacking
Where: At the Growling Frog Golf Course, Yan Yean
When: Tee off from 10:00am on Saturday October 18
Who: The exclusive invitational field was 16 Hackers
The field teed off with a moderate northerly blowing and the Hackers were blissfully unaware of what was to come. As the day wore on, the winds speeds increased and the temperature began soaring and topped 30c. In true Hacking style, it was not a day for the faint-hearted! The course was in fantastic condition and well within the skill level of MOST players.
When the dust had settled, two-time winner and co-founder of JTH Richard Mitchell had spread-eagled the field with one of his now-infamous displays of outrageous showmanship combined with a small dose of golfmanship. He managed to edge out defending champion Marty Koolstra to stop him becoming the first ever Hacker to go back-to-backer. Marty slipped in to second place on countback after a tie for 2nd & 3rd place with Rob Horrigan. As well as being a triple threat with his renowned singing, dancing and acting skills, Saddam is now the only JTH Triple Crown winner with three mighty titles to his name – 1997, 2001 & 2008. The final results for Hack # 11 were:
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Place
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Player
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Score
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H/cap
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1st
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Richard Mitchell
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39 points
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23
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2nd
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Marty Koolstra
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36 points
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20
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3rd
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Rob Horrigan
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36 points
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13
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NAGA
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"The Coach"
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17 points
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Unknown
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Hacking away in 2007 for the 10th time
The 2007 event was held on Saturday October 20 at the Eagle Ridge Golf Course on the Mornington Peninsula where all the Hacking began a decade ago. The tight track provided a stern test of hacking abilities and a great day was had by all. The wondrous array of celebrations on offer after the golf including the traditional ‘Champions Dinner’, consisting of a gourmet BBQ that was a patriotic and fitting tribute to the many great hackers who have scratched their names into the mighty Jack the Hack Trophy.
When the scores were counted, the field had been spreadeagled by a masterful round in perfect conditions from Marty Koolstra. An experienced Hacker, he had gone close only once before in his long and arduous quest for the holy Jack the Hack title. This time Marty turned in a peerless performance, racking up 41 stableford points and leaving the field in his wake with the runner up, Craig Ryan, finishing on 37 stableford points and third place getter, Steve Hooper, another point further back.
The spoils (containing a largely alcohol-fuelled prize pool) were also shared among the four Nearest the Pin winners, a Longest Drive award and the obligatory JTH NAGA award. As if walking away with the main prize wasn't enough, on the 18th hole, Marty drove the final stake through his opponents hearts by taking out the Longest Drive prize with a monstrous effort that travelled well over 300 metres. As far as we can tell, the final results were:
Overall Results
1st - Marty Koolstra
2nd - Craig Ryan
3rd - Steve Hooper
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Nearest to the pins
6th hole: Saddam
8th hole: Steve Hooper
11th hole: Arbeige
17th hole: Dave Mitchell
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Longest Drive
18th hole: Marty Koolstra
NAGA
Rick Brown
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Click here to view a heavily censored gallery of some of the shenanigans that went on at the 2007 JTH.
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