Great Golf Quotes Page 2
November 23, 2024
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Gardner Dickinson (1927 - 1998) “They say golf is like life, but don't believe them. Golf is far more complicated than that.”
”It's a marriage. If I had to choose between my wife and my putter...well, I'd miss her.” "You can always speak with great authority on how well you played today, but never on how you'll play tomorrow." “If there's a golf course in heaven, I hope it's like Augusta National. I just don't want an early tee time.” “If you think your hands are more important in your golf swing than your legs, try walking a hole on your hands.” “Golf is a puzzle without an answer. I've played the game for 40 years and I still haven't the slightest idea how to play.” “Everyone wants to be known as a great striker of the ball for some reason. Nobody wants to be called a lucky, one-putting s.o.b.” “I got so strong I felt like a giant.....When I stood on the tee with Arnold and Jack, I was tiny compared to them. But I never believed they were bigger than me. So the mind is so fascinating.”
"Golf is not a game of great shots. It is a game of the most misses. The people who win make the smallest mistakes."
“I don't care what you say about me. Just spell the name right.” “My caddie 'Stovepipe' tried to talk me into hitting a 3-wood. But I took out the turf rider (4-wood) instead. The moment I hit it, I felt something in my bones. Walter Hagen was playing with me and Bobby Jones was on the green. 21 people were behind the green. The sun was going down. I wasn't sure it had gone in the hole until I saw all 21 people jumping up and down.” - On ‘the shot heard around the world’: his albatross two at Augusta National's Par Five15th hole in the second US Masters in 1935.
"Give me a millionaire with a bad backswing and I can have a very pleasant afternoon"
Grantland Rice (1880 - 1954) “There is no type of miracle that can't happen at least once in golf." "There are three types of golf: golf, tournament golf and Major championship golf.” “Golf gives you an insight into human nature. Your own as well as your opponent's.” “You are meant to play the ball as it lies, a fact that may help to touch on your own objective approach to life.” "Eighteen holes of match play will teach you more about your foe than eighteen years of dealing with him across the desk." "Golf is twenty percent mechanics and technique. The other eighty percent is philosophy, humor, tragedy, romance, melodrama, companionship, camaraderie, cussedness, and conversation."
"Happiness is a long walk with a putter." “I owe a lot to my parents, especially by mother and my father.” "I'm disappointed, but I'm not going to run around like Dennis Rodman and head-butt somebody." - After the 1996 US Masters.
“I don't care to join any club that's prepared to have me as a member.”
“You can talk about strategy all you want, but what really matters is resilience. On the last nine holes of the Masters or the Open, there's going to come at least one point when you want to throw yourself in the nearest trash can and disappear. You know you can't hide. It's like you're walking down the fairway naked. The gallery knows what you've done, every other player knows and worst of all, you know. That's when you find out if you're a real competitor.”
"Golf is not just exercise; it is an adventure, a romance...a Shakespeare play in which disaster and comedy are intertwined. And you have to live with the consequences of each action."
"Don't play too much golf. Two rounds a day are plenty." “Never saw one worth a damn.” - When asked what he thought of left-handed golfers. “There are many ways of performing the operations successfully. I can claim, however, to be in a position to explain how not to putt. I think I know as well as anybody how not to do it.” “The advent of the rubber ball was instrumental in creating an entirely different method of striking the object. The solid ball required to be hit for carry, whereas it was quickly apparent that the Haskell lent itself to an enormous run. I hold the firm opinion that from this date the essential attitude towards accuracy was completely lost sight of. This was the start of the craze for length and still more length.”
"If you play golf, you are my friend." “Be brave if you lose and meek if you win.” “Golf has probably kept more people sane than psychiatrists have.” “A good putter is a match for anyone. A bad putter is a match for no one.” "Lessons are not to take the place of practice, but to make practice worthwhile." “Go out and have fun. Golf is a game for everyone, not just for the talented few.” "Golf tips are like aspirin. One may do you good, but if you swallow the whole bottle you will be lucky to survive."
“Bets lengthen putts and shorten drives.” “Nonchalant putts count the same as chalant putts.” “A ball will always come to rest halfway down a hill, unless there is sand or water at the bottom.” "When your shot has to carry over a water hazard, you can either hit one more club or two more balls."
“Missing a short putt does not mean you have to hit your next drive out of bounds.” “Golf is a matter of confidence. If you think you cannot do it, there is no chance you will.”
“But the bitter, inescapable truth remains. Once you've had 'em, you've got 'em” - On the yips. “Golfing excellence goes hand and hand with alcohol, as many an Open and Amateur champion has shown.” “They say practice makes perfect. Of course, it doesn't. For the vast majority of golfers practice merely consolidates imperfection.” “Every ball maker all over the world, according at any rate to the advertisements, makes a ball which goes farther than everybody else's.” “Fashions come and go in golf clubs as they do in clothes and often what is hailed as the latest thing is only a revival of what was all the rage 50 years ago.” “If you call on God to improve the results of a shot while it is still in motion, you are using an outside agency and subject to appropriate penalties under the rules of golf.”
"Golf without Jones would be like France without Paris: leaderless, lightless and lonely." - On Bobby Jones.
“Yeah, after each of my downhill putts.” - When asked if he had any uphill putts.
"If profanity had an influence on the flight of the ball, the game would be played far better than it is."
“All of a sudden I'm an expert on everything. Interviewers want your opinion on golf, foreign policy and even the price of peanuts.” - After winning the 1977 US Open.
"I wish my name was Tom Kite." - On signing autographs. “His driving is unbelievable. I don't go that far on my holidays.” - On John Daly.
“I can't exactly describe it, but as I looked at the putt, the hole looked as big as a wash tub, I suddenly became convinced I couldn't miss. All I tried to do was keep the sensation by not questioning it.” - On the 1955 US Open, which he won.
"If you want to hit it farther, hit it better." “Don't be too proud to take lessons. I'm not.” "If there is one thing golf demands above all else, it is honesty." "The older you get the stronger the wind gets and it's always in your face." “Over the first three rounds you're playing the course. In the final round, if you're in contention, you're playing the man.” “Success depends...on how effectively you learn to manage the game's two ultimate adversaries: the course and yourself.” “I'm a firm believer that people only do their best at things they truly enjoy. It is difficult to excel at something you don't enjoy.” ”Confidence is the most important single factor in this game, and no matter how great your natural talent, there is only one way to obtain and sustain it: work.” "Jones is the greatest golfer who ever lived and probably ever will live. That's my goal. Bobby Jones. It's the only goal." - At age 20 in 1960 before he had won his first major. “When you lip out several putts in a row, you should never think that means that you're putting well. When you're putting well, the only question is what part of the hole it's going to fall in, not if it's going in.” "I don't know if I'll ever do it again or not, but frankly, I don't really care." - After his sixth Masters win (his 18th and final major) in 1986 when he shot a blistering six under par on the back nine at Augusta National at age 46. “There isn't a flaw in his golf or his makeup. He will win more majors than Arnold Palmer and me combined. Somebody is going to dust my records. It might as well be Tiger, because he's such a great kid.”
“Golfers are genuinely courteous in a discourteous world. Show me a guest on The Jerry Springer Show who's a golfer.”
“It's so bad I could putt off a tabletop and still leave the ball halfway down the leg.” - On his putting.
“Having a great golf swing helps under pressure, but golf is a game about scoring. It's like an artist who can get a two-inch brush at Wal-Mart for 20 cents or a fine camel-hair brush from an art store for 20 dollars. The brush doesn't matter - how the finished painting looks is what matters.”
"The friends you make on the golf course are the friends you make for life."
"Golf and sex are the only things you can enjoy without being good at them."
“I’m gambling that when we get into the next life, St Peter will look at us and ask, “Golfer?” And when we nod, he will step aside and say, “Go right in; you’ve suffered enough.” One warning, if you do go in and the first thing you see is a par 3 surrounded by water, it ain’t heaven.”
“If we had to play Augusta National in one hour, the best athlete would win the Masters. But as it is, they give us time to hang ourselves. Every swing is a 'thought shot'. So instead of the best athlete, you end up with the best thinker as the winner.”
“I played so bad, I got a get-well card from the IRS." "When Nicklaus plays wells well, he wins. When he plays badly, he finishes second. When he plays terribly, he finishes third."
”I've got the drinkers and the smokers and the eaters on my side." ”I will just put four or five extra packs of cigarettes in my bag and I will be fine.” "The only way I'll ever make the Ryder Cup team is when I become captain; then I can name myself to the team." “All four days I didn't think. I just hit. Squeaky (Medlen, his caddy) said 'kill' and I killed it.” - On his 1991 US PGA win. “I enjoy the oohs! and aahs! from the gallery when I hit my drives. But I'm getting pretty tired of the awws! and uhhs! when I miss the putt.”
“In golf, the best players prefer the strongest tests, where skill is most readily rewarded, inferior play is promptly penalised, and the gap between the best and the mediocre is widened.”
"Retire to what? I'm a golfer and a fisherman. I've got no place to retire to."
“He said he wanted to get more distance so I told him to hit it and run backward.” "Victory is everything. You can spend the money, but you can never spend the memories."
“It's just to let the other one know it can be replaced.” - On why he carried a second putter. “There's not much pressure on the golf Tour. Walking to the first tee is in no way comparable to walking through the jungle in combat” - Nelson is a Vietnam War veteran.
“You get no points for style when it comes to putting. It's getting the ball to drop into the cup that counts.”
"A hungry dog hunts best." "The older I get, the better I used to be." "Putts get real difficult the day they hand out the money." “My swing is so bad I look like a caveman killing his lunch.” "I'm in the woods so much I can tell you which plants are edible." "Pressure is playing for five dollars a hole with only two in your pocket." "My game is so bad right now, if I grew tomatoes they'd come up sliced." “We all choke, and the man who says he doesn't choke is lying like hell.” “I'm not out there just to be dancing around. I expect to win every time I tee up.” "I'm hitting the driver so good I gotta dial the operator for long distance after I hit it." “If God wanted you to putt cross-handed, he would have made your left arm longer.” “My wife doesn't care what I do when I'm away, as long as I don't have a good time.” “Columbus went around the world in 1492. That isn't a lot of strokes when you consider the course.” “There is no such thing as natural touch. Touch is something you create by hitting millions of golf balls.” "His nerve, his memory and I can't remember the third thing." - On the three things an aging golfer loses. “One under a tree, one under a bush, one under the water.” - Describing how he shot one-under in a tournament. “My divorce came to me as a complete surprise. That's what happens when you haven't been home in eighteen years.” "A rough should have high grass. When you go bowling they don't give you anything for landing in the gutter, do they?" “I didn't want to change the name on the towels.” - On marrying his second wife, Claudia, who had the same name as his first. “I may buy the Alamo and give it back to Mexico.” - When asked what he might do with his winnings from the 1968 US Open. "You can make a lot of money in this game. Just ask my ex-wives. Both of them are so rich that neither of their husbands work." “I thought I'd blown it at the 17th when I drove into a trap. God is a Mexican.” - After his win at the 1972 Open at Muirfield. “Actually, my plan was to be 20-under par after two days but it didn't work” - When leading the 1984 US PGA at the halfway stage. He went on to win. “I got no pride on the hole. It's a par-5 and I play it that way. A four is a birdie.” – On ‘The Road Hole’, the par four 17th at St Andrews. “I'm a golfaholic, no question about that. Counselling wouldn't help me. They'd have to put me in prison, and then I'd talk the warden into building a hole or two and teach him how to play.” “When I am on a golf course during a lightening storm, I just hold up a one-iron, coz not even God can hit a one-iron.” - this from a man who has been hit by lightening on a golf course - twice! “I'm really going to do my homework. I'm going to be down there on the practice tee finding out if a guy's wife beat him up the night before, important stuff like that. Stuff that people want to know.” - On his debut as a TV commentator.
“That son of a bitch was able to hole a putt over 60 feet of peanut brittle.” – On Bobby Locke.
“Golf is not a good walk spoiled. It is becoming a good walk prohibited. Show me the common sense in this and I promise I will relent. But there is no common sense at all in the prohibition of walking.” - On the compulsory use of golf carts. “Walking also enables us to watch a hole unfold in front of us. To walk a course is analogous to driving a long distance rather than flying. While driving, we see the country instead of racing over it. There's a human scale that flying cannot offer.”
"Golf is very much like a love affair, if you don't take it seriously, it's no fun, if you do, it breaks your heart. Don't break your heart, but flirt with the possibility." Great Golf Quotes page 1 (A - F)
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