2023 BC

The Event

The Format: Teams of four playing single stroke Friday, two-ball ambrose strokeplay on Saturday and four-ball ambrose strokeplay on Sunday.

The Rules: Since slow play is a potential problem for our gangs, these rules are designed to encourage play in the right spirit and at the right pace. Teams play their chosen best ball on each shot and play preferred lies – you may place your ball half a club length (about 50cms) from where the chosen ball lies, no nearer the hole. Balls must be placed in the same cut as the chosen ball.

In the interests of fast play from tee to green, teams are NOT required to mark balls and precisely measure from the chosen ball as they play each shot. Pace of play is important so do not waste time unnecessarily. Team members can play in any order on a shot. Once on the putting green, Bushrangers should mark near the chosen best ball so each team member putts from near enough to the exact same position.

No Gimmes: Some nutter once gave someone a short putt in a Cup. This is not on under any circumstances. We are here for fun, but the golf is (slightly) serious. The Bushranger Cup is a strokeplay event (not match-play) and every ball must be holed out. You can concede putts in one-on-one matchplay, but strokeplay is the field vs the field so no gimmes.

Handicapping: Each person is assigned a handicap by the handicapper based on official handicaps and/or info supplied by the Bushrangers. The handicapper will be governed by a commitment to rewarding good play according to a player’s ability. Team handicaps for the ambrose groupings are calculated from the individual handicaps.

Playoffs: In the event of a tie, a sudden-death playoff will be conducted. Teams play together as a foursome (taking alternate strokes playing one ball). Once established on the first hole, the order is continuous and carries over from one hole to the next until the playoff is decided.

Nearest-the-Pin & Longest Drive: Will be contested on all days and, in the interests of team gloating and solidarity, any player who wins a LD or NTP wins prizes and glory for his entire team.

The Rodeo Rule: This is minimum drives for each team member and will be enforced. Each team’s individual rodeo requirements will appear on their scorecard.
 

A Brief History of The Bushranger Cup

The Bushranger Cup was founded in 2004 with intention of bringing a group of pals together for a weekend of golf and fun. Gents who had accumulated other commitments in their lives, were playing less golf and mates were not getting together so often.

The intention of the Cup was to address this work/life/golf imbalance by establishing an event so chock full of fun and drama that it could fulfil a fellows golfing, emotional and spiritual needs for a full 12 months if necessary.

The four-man team format is intended to be a vehicle for mates to enjoy the camaraderie and fun of teaming together. Since most of the original participants did not have official handicaps, the perennial challenge of managing Bushrangers became the guiding principle for the development of the handicapping system and format of the event.

Although it has been the catalyst for the formation of Bushranger Golf and Social Golf Australia (SGA), the Bushranger Cup remains a private invitational event. The Cup has forged a reputation for remarkable moments, great drama and hilarious fun and is now, some people say, arguably the most sought-after prize in the golfing universe.
 

The Bushranger Cup Player Form Guide

Editor’s Note: Reader discretion is advised. These reviews are merciless.

The Kelly Gang - The last and most infamous of all the Bushrangers, Ned’s crusade to secede from the colony and start his own republic fell slightly short of the mark. An expert self-promoter, he always knew the importance of snappy dressing for a photo opportunity.

Ian Crotty (Crock Diddy)         Fraser Gough (Dr F-Tard)
Sebastian Shand (Bastros)       Mick Van Raay (Da King)

The defending champs come in here cock-a-hoop after a stunning and, dare we say, powerful, masculine, testosterone-fuelled, alpha-male & altogether rather binary-style win. They were totally pumped up and massively jacked by Dr F-Tard thoroughly steaming and potent ambition to fill the massive void on his trophy shelf by leading his team to his maiden Cup victory. It remains to be seen whether a year spent cuddling the Bushranger Cup (and the attendant marital stress that brings) has also filled the void in the dark corners of his soul. Does winning a trophy completely expunge every cobweb of doubt, uncertainty, self-loathing and moral-affliction that haunts every man? And woman? We presume. This will be a big test for this entire team. And not just an existential challenge of epic proportions. Nay, tis a test of character and of the strength of the light burning in the souls of these men. Can they win again? Well, who cares. But can they have as much fun as they did last year? That is their epic challenge. God speed to you all.
 

The Wild Colonial Boys - Emerging in the turbulent 1850s, these were a new breed of Bushrangers. They were not escaped convicts but the sons of immigrants or colonial born youths with contempt for authority and a desire for quick riches and adventure.

Tim Holroyd (Hatman)             Brett Simpson (Simmo)
Greg Cousins (The Geesh)          Mick David (Mikey D)

So, they got the band back together. The Prodigal son returns as the glue to restore this super-team of perennial contenders into an even more-er super-mega-team. Mike abandoned them to pick up a couple of titles while he was ‘seeing other people’ with his other friends from before from over there, but when Foxy & Arbeige announced they were unavailable this year, the transfer papers were signed faster than you can say “Free agency is encouraged at the Bushranger Cup”! So what will happen on the golf course & the leader-board? Nobody knows. Most of this random mob of athletic brilliance only golf once a year, so who turns up is impossible to predict. What we do know is that these freaks of nature will bring their same dry wit and delicious humour to every minute of the weekend and anyone remotely close to their orbit will be whooping it up and falling about the place laughing and carrying on with delight. A lot. A very good time for a very long time is guaranteed for anyone and everyone who gets anywhere near them. Wonder-freaks of joy who can golf their balls a bit when they are on.
 

The Stringybark Creek Freaks - At Stringybark Creek in the Wombat Ranges in October 1878, the brooding confrontation between the Kelly Gang and the police exploded into all-out war. Three police officers lost their lives
and the Kelly outbreak had begun.

Matthew Pitt (Dubs)               Nick Honey (Ho)
Matty Thomas (T-Bag)       Pete Russell (Rusty)

So here they are. The loose ends. The orphans. The odd-bods who have been abandoned and left behind to rot. This crew has had to fight adversity like no others in the field. They have overcome challenges and obstacles of epic proportions to even be here. They have found strength where many could not. They have proven their resilience, their character, their vulnerability and their courage, over and over again. As individuals they may be the most admired, respected and envied men here this weekend. As a team they appear unchallenged, and they are so intimidating that many others in the field have already given up. Even before they read this. Talk about an affirmation bias! Yes, blokes want to be them, and women and blokes and non-binary gender neutrals want to be with them. It is one of those times for the mere mortals attending The Cup to just sit back and enjoy the show.
 

The Aaron Sherritt Gang - Aaron Sherritt was Joe Byrne’s great mate and a trusted lieutenant to the Kelly Gang. Folklore has marked him as a traitor, but he played a delicate game of espionage pretending to be a police informant. He came undone when the cops got wise and spread rumours he had betrayed the gang. In the end, he was murdered by Joe Byrne for his apparent, but unproven, treachery.

Dave Warwick (Deisal)         Phil Peacock (Dust)
Joel Matthews (Shatter)        Tom Tomlin (Tommy)

Have really taking their in-fighting to new levels in their preparation for this year. Having blown the field away in 2014 with an epic win for the ages, their efforts to recapture that lightning in a bottle have become more and more frustrating. For them. But a delight for the rest of us. After moving their focus in recent years to planning their epicurean activities between rounds, even that is starting to unravel now. Whereas they thought some team-bonding in their repasts may have been the missing ingredient to repair their scoring woes, now all their pre-event comms have been around who is cooking the Saturday roast, how long to leave it in for, when to baste the spuds, what wines to pair the meal with and which green vegetables constitute a fair and reasonable complement to the other elements on the plate. At one point a conversation on the merits or otherwise of beetroot and the hemispheric variations and the phallic semiotics of egg-plant vs aubergine completely derailed their preparation before they had moved beyond the email stage. A complete circus of dissent that will entertain all.
 

The Canvas Town Mob - A rare city-based mob of Bushrangers who operated in South Melbourne in the 1850s. They would knock off ships at port and then frivolously drink and gamble away their booty.

Gavan Doran (The Rose)          Ian Steer (Steery)
Peter Calverley (Cuddles)        Cam Thompson (CT)

Still reeling after all the blood-letting at the selection table, this mob looks very unsettled in the mounting yard. At the TMMP in Canberra in Feb it was revealed that nobody had every taken the time to invite CT to the Cup. Obviously the Bushranger organiser is excused and forgiven as he cannot be relied on to maintain administrative perspicacity at the best of times. Which is why the invitees are given licence to invite pals along to join the fun provided a strict adherence to the no-dickhead policy (NDP) is maintained. That neither Steery, nor The Rose nor Cuddles ever saw fit to invite CT in the past speaks either to their rating of CT as a mate, or their adherence, prudent or otherwise, to the NDP. Either way, once the Bushranger overruled and issued the invite, CT accepted in a heartbeat and then Steery insisted that CT be on his team. Cuddles was in attendance, so he was safe and within a few short minutes, the only team member absent at the time (Rusty) was furiously, unceremoniously and immediately expurgated from the team. In short shrift The Rose had head in hands, nobody called Rusty to explain and the whole debacle was all over the media. What a mess.
 

The Harry Power Gang - Harry Power was the wily old lawbreaker who mentored the young Ned Kelly in the refined bush arts of horse stealing and bravely hiding from the law in the scrub.

Paul White (Whitey)          Craig Jukes (Jukesy)
Dennis Williams (Dizzy)         Dean Connell (DC)

With years of underperformance at the Bushranger Cup now under their belts, the Mildura crew earnestly think that they are finally ready to be contenders. Ha ha ha ha ha. No seriously, they really think that. Can you believe it? Anyhoo, to this end they have gone to the draft and added a two-time Cup Champion to their roster to try and top up their list in the hope that Luggo will be the final piece of the puzzle to get them over the line. There is no doubt that between them they have the hitting power, the golfing nous and experience, shot-making ability, the sheer liver power and a serious commitment to fun and good times on and off the golf course that is required to win a Bushranger Cup. But a few questions do remain around the not insignificant issues of ticker, character, courage and resilience. No doubt they are hell-bent on showing the rest of the field that they have the right stuff here, but whether anyone is interested to take any notice is another matter. Perhaps consider boxing in a trifecta just in case.
 

The Captain Moonlite Gang - The devious Andrew George Scott, a man with three first names, became the infamous Captain Moonlite when he began robbing banks in the 1870s after throwing in a promising career as a preacher.

Mark Henderson (Hendo)          Leon Doyle (Leondo)
Aaron Henderson (A-a-Ron)      Shane Lawlor (Shano)

In every age throughout history, there are geniuses who set themselves apart. People who represent the paradigm of human achievement who raise the bar on behalf of all humanity and set new standards that elevate us all and give those that follow the opportunity to stand on the shoulders of giants of achievement. And then there is everyone else. The flotsam and jetsam of humanity who are just floating along, trying not to get swept into a whirlpool, smashed on the rocks or go tumbling over a waterfall to a gruesome end. Those who are content to just get by. To exist. To just be. This mob are certainly the former category. And what is their genius zone? Their remarkable talent and achievement that perches them in the heavens alongside the greats of history? Like no others before or since, they come to the Cup each year with the bar set so low that they nearly always achieve their goals. Think of the lowest bar you have ever seen, then lower that. A bit lower. A little bit more. Now halve that lowness. Bloody low isn’t it? This mob are absolute freaks. They will do very well again this year… unless they have their bar so low that they trip over it and faceplant. We live in hope.

Ben Hall Gang - Originally the Frank Gardiner Gang, it became the Gilbert Gang when Gardiner was captured in Queensland in 1861. It then morphed into the Gilbert & Hall Gang and later, the Ben Hall Gang. Their revolving-door policy remains strong to this day.

Richard Fellner (Quigley)        Atholl Johnstone (Bikini)
Duncan Lendrum (Donuts)        Cameron Dunn (Oveur)

This muddled mob came agonisingly close to victory last year, with just 7 of the 8 other teams pipping them at the post. Now, as the Defending Runner-Runner-Runner-Runner-Runner-Runner-Runner-ups, they will arrive here with an apoplectic determination to break the grass-ceiling, and finally, once and for all, take their rightful place at the very top of the bottom one-eighth of the field.  Granted, they will need to overcome the same obstacles that plague them every year, notably the lack of skill, endurance, courage, intelligence, expediency, wit, vigour, alacrity, organisation, and the simple ability to find the first tee. At the right time. Of the actual day. On the correct course. In the proper Australian state and/or territory.  In truth, these pretenders have virtually zero chance to win, but EVERY chance to see “3 per 18” on their card, and assume it is the over/under line for number of times they will roll a cart in a bunker. A circus act certain to entertain.